And she can cook, too!

Jerk Seitan, Coconut Rice, Oven Roasted Corn on the Cob and Sweet Potato Fries.

My relationship with my mom, summed up in one line

"Well, I was going to come pick you up, but now I don't feel like it."

Merry Giftmas to all of you if you celebrate some form of it. If not, Happy Day in Which I Can't Do Shit Because Everything is Closed.

:D

Resident Evil

So, I've been playing a lot of Resident Evil lately on my Wii. This probably isn't the smartest idea in the world, considering that my best video game hours begin around 2 am and I live by myself. I also have an incredibly paranoid mother who is convinced I am going to get hacked to bits and pieces one night in my apartment. She's not good on the idea that I live in a very safe part of the city.

This, in turn, causes me to be a stubborn fuck and insist that my apartment is totally safe, that living on my own is totally safe and nothing could ever possibly happen to me while living in a major city that has an incredibly high murder rate.

So then I play video games for several hours, resulting in my inability to sleep until about 6:30 am. It's not because I'm wound up. It's because I start thinking things along the lines of "what if zombies were real? Oh shit, I'd be so screwed if zombies were real." Which leads to me getting a little too edgy to go to sleep right away, hence my being awake at 6:38 am on a Sunday. Then I inevitably hear the buzzer for one of my neighbors (why he has people buzzing for him at 5:30 am every. freakin. morning, I'll never know), putting me a little more on edge. Because I guess I wonder if zombies would try to psych me out.

It's not that I really fear a zombie invasion, it's just that I have an overactive imagination. And once the hamster starts running, it's all over.

Other truths I hold dear to my heart:



* The Septa Forcefield. The Septa Forcefield only exists at the Subway/El/any train station with a turnstile. It doesn't matter what type of psychotic killer is behind you, as long as you pay your fare and get through the turnstile, zie can't come and get you. This will also keep me safe from zombie invasion, provided that I'm in a subway station at the time. Unless zombies know how to buy tokens. SHIT.



* Moose evolution. Moose will one day evolve and develop opposable thumbs. With their opposable thumb technology, they will then be able to scale walls and hide out in trees with sniper rifles. I just hope that we will be able to channel their newly developed intellect and direct it against the impending zombie invasion.

You might mock me, but you will fucking see when it happens to you. Just remember to keep plenty of tokens on you for emergencies and hope the moose don't decide to take you out instead of the zombies. OH YEAH AND THANK ME WHEN YOU'RE IN THESE SITUATIONS.

Because pro-choice = all baybees must diiiiiiiiie!

I did a quick Google search a few minutes ago and learned that we were lucky enough to register on Jill Stanek's radar. We also got an entire post dedicated to us over at Life Advocates. As immature as it might be, I'm very tempted to pop over to both blogs and thank them for the attention. Hey, FMLA can always use more members.

Some observations:

The implication (of one of the blogs, I think Ms. Stanek's) that all -- or at least most -- pro-choicers were born post-Roe is hilarious. My mother was my age when she had me, making her born way pre-Roe, and she ranted to me about "pro-life" clinic protesting and why she thinks it's fucking stupid.

"May the fetus you save be gay" is mean? I'll agree that it is a slightly problematic sign and I can understand why people would find it distasteful for many reasons, but mean? I could understand if you think it's mean to that fetus because the Christian Right is generally both homophobic and anti-choice, but I don't understand why else it would be mean....unless...you think it's mean because you are homophobic! I know, I know. Crazy talk, right?

I know the guy holding the "Keep Bush out of my bush" sign. IIRC, he grabbed it because there were no other "generic" signs that would apply to men and we all need a little bit of humor to break up the tension. So why attack his gender and/or his looks? How on earth is that appropriate? If you homophobic, sexist bigoted fucks want me to NOT VIEW YOU AS HOMOPHOBIC, SEXIST BIGOTED FUCKS, then don't act like fucking idiots, k?

Blah blah, we love abobo. I get it. It's not that I think keeping abortion a decision between me and my doctor is hot, it's that I think abortion is SEXY!

Hmm. Now I kinda want an "Abortion is SEXY!" shirt. And it's all because of these horrible writers who don't understand context, let alone the entire situation.

If I were an asshole, I advise everyone photographed to start flooding these bloggers with emails stating that they did not receive written permission to publish their likeness on their blogs. But I'm a pretty nice person, so I won't.

So this is Giftmas

My friends gave me a gorgeous sake set for Giftmas.

Hmph

So, I was going to come here and provide a huge rebuttal to the common thought that I am "scary." In this rebuttal, I was going to rattle off my insecurities -- i.e., I will never be worthy of love -- fears -- i.e., never getting a grown-up job I like -- and conclude with an emotional outpouring in which I think it's a wise idea to lay everything out there so my friends can unmercifully torture me for the next few weeks.

But instead, I'll just tell you all that I made about 5 dozen cookies and a pretty decent batch of baked macaroni this evening. If I were truly mean and butch and oh-so-scary, I would not have the skills to be a good little woman and kick serious domesticated ass.

Owie

I think I broke my pinky toe. For those of you who don't know, my bed is solid pine with squared off feet.

I, like the clumsy jackass I am, managed to slam my toe into the bed not once -- but TWICE. It hurts like hell and is all swollen. And I'm having problems putting weight on it. (As in, I'm hopping around like a jackass in socks on hardwood floors. Nah, I certainly don't see myself slipping onto my ass anytime soon.) Insert frown here.

The good thing is that I discovered I have an extra vicoprofin from when I had my wisdom teeth pulled in July 06. I took 1/3 of a pill and am going to sleep with an ice pack on my foot.

I guess this means that during our "This is What a Feminist Looks Like" event tomorrow, I might have to make a pit stop at student health services or stop at the ER on my way home tomorrow evening. I hope they can give me some good painkillers because of the whole "needing to walk" thing. :(

GIVE ME SOME PITY, DAMNIT!

Hmph

I haven't been feeling very focused lately, but I've made some fabulous purchases. If Blogger wasn't being such an impotent penis, I could make a pretty post with pretty photos and show you what I've purchased.

But that isn't the case, so you'll just have to rely on my fantabulous describing skillz.

I bought pretty pretty red Pumas that are panty creamingly wonderful, a silver train case from Sephora, some desperately needed clothing in the proper size, a new belt from Splaff and placed a VeganEssentials order (which included vitamins and nutritional yeast). Oh, and I am fucking SWEATING MAC Plush Lash. *orgasm* It's just that good.

Other things have been going "eh." I've been really stressed and the slight post-quitting weight gain hasn't helped me be....well, sane. I've been really moody and a little run down over the past few days, but I know that will pass as I get more used to not smoking. I'm just a big ball of emotional crap right now for a bazillion reasons that I don't want to discuss publicly.

Anyway. School is boring as shit. My classes are yawntastic, which isn't helping me to be focused or helping me force myself to go to class. Which is not good, especially considering I've got another two years of frickin undergrad to plow through. *sobs*

I have no ending here. I need bed.

Smoking. :(

I haven't had a cigarette since 9.17.07. (Mom, if you're reading, sorry. Don't read my public blog if you don't want to see things that might piss you off.)

For those not in the know, I love to smoke and it's the only thing I've ever truly been addicted to.

So now I'm experiencing post-quitting lardassness (6.5 lbs in EIGHT DAYS. LOL WHAT?) and I can't afford to re-replace my clothes from mediums to larges. If I'm shelling out the money for a new wardrobe, it's gonna be tight cut mediums and smalls, get it? After bawling my eyes out for 45 minutes last night and having a generally not okie dokie day, a few of us have decided to make field trips to the gym at school.

Hopefully, we'll all stick to this plan, especially since I recently bought two super cute Sporty Spice outfits. If not, I'm damning y'all.

I WILL HAVE YOU ARRESTED AND THEN I WILL SUE YOU!

DEAR VANITY SIZING BASTARDS:

Okay, I know I've lost a lot of weight and I know I don't have an A+++++ relationship with my fat ass, but for fuck's sake, there is NO REALISTIC REASON THAT I SHOULD BE WEARING A SIZE EIGHT IN CALVIN KLEIN. PERIOD. Either I have some pretty severe body dysmorphia or you guys are big, fat stinkin' liarfaces. I'm guessing it might be the latter, considering that I am still about 25 15 lbs. overweight. (Hey, is there any crime in wanting to be 5'4" & 110? I really don't think so.)

Anyway. Stop doing it, because you make online clothes shopping very difficult. I finally got my damn Macy's order from UPS earlier today and my Calvin Klein skirt is a full size too big, yet my other skirt fits perfectly. They are both the same damn size and really, they should both be a smidge snug on me because I'm pretty certain that they are juniors' sizing. (They're both marked 9/10 instead of "10.") And I'm really not so crazy insecure about my size that buying a 10 as opposed to an 8 is going to throw me into a teary mess. So stop it. Stop it now.

With love,

The Drunkenatheist

MY BRAIN TUMOR, aka, initially inexplicable fainting spell

So, like, today I fainted for the first time ever! It was so crazy and I actually wound up having to google fainting because I didn't know if I fainted or what.

So I've been referring to this as "my brain tumor," because I love making light of any major shit like that. Hey, I'm the same person who -- while under the influence of morphine in the ER -- rambled "YAAAAAY I don't have the GRID!" I'm also a ton of fun in the ER on a whole, but that's another story. Really, I think I should start charging for being an ER escort because I am awesome in the ER.

But this isn't the point. The point is that I was totally convinced I had a brain tumor earlier today.

After the humor of waking up to Criminal Justice Major* saying "she's got a pulse" and responding with a slurry, just regained conscience "Iiiii'mmmm...shalive," I was a little freaked out about this incident. I do not need to have moments of being overcome with my womanly issues unless I'm corsetting my waist down to some Dita Von Teese shit. Once I got home, I looked up Vitamin B-12 deficiencies and found some very interesting stuff. Symptoms of said deficiency (taken from a wide variety of sources):

* Unexplained bruises
* Fatigue
* Inability to concentrate
* Depression
* Low-grade fever
* Intestinal issues
* Pale skin
* Loss of memory
* Chest pains
* Low blood pressure**
* Light headedness, sensations of dizziness

THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH. I've had all this shit pop up multiple times over the summer to varying degrees. Conveniently, this began just a few months after I moved out of Ex-Boyfriend's house....which is also the last time I was eating ANYTHING that resembled NUTRITIOUS MEALS. The psychological issues are particularly surprising to me, because I had a really difficult time dealing with all the stress of the summer. And I felt like I was losing my fucking mind because my memory was really slipping over the summer. To find out that this shit might be remedied by just taking my damn vitamins is such a relief, but it's a little sad that I will not be able to say "EXCUSE ME, BRAIN TUMOR COMING THROUGH." "EXCUSE ME, ANEMIA CAUSED BY A B-12 DEFICIENCY COMING THROUGH" does not have the same ring to it. I guess the fact that I probably don't have a brain tumor is supposed to make up for that, but whatever.

I suppose I will have to just be inconvenienced and modify my new catchphrase.

* Pseudonym in the interest of protecting privacy on this little-read, very public blog.
** I have never been diagnosed, but despite being a heavy smoker, a lot of bad dietary choices (yep, it's completely possible even as a vegan!), binge drinking, over-stressing myself, etc., etc., etc., I have NEVER had high blood pressure. Even at my highest weight and during my absolute worst lifestyle choices, I have oddly had normal blood pressure, which leads me to wonder if my blood pressure would be low if I lived the healthiest lifestyle I possibly could.

Stuff

Photos of my new place

Spent around four hundred bucks on textbooks and I only took care of three classes. And they were all used through Amazon resellers, which saved me probably in the area of of a buck fitty. That's some fucking sick shit.

Financial aid is FINALLY taken care of and I'm getting a nice, big refund back this semester. And I got my health insurance squared away for next year. Best part? My new dentist and my new doctor's office are no each no further than a block away from my apartment! I knew there was a perk to living right near a hospital! ;)

I have to compile a bunch of political/historical links for my mom. She needs info about the impending presidential elections, as well as some basic historical knowledge. Considering the woman forgot about the Khmer Rouge and Iran-Contra, methinks she needs to brush up on a few areas of world events. I am also forcing her to at least skim the news every week. If I have to spam her with news articles, so be it! She isn't get out of a drunkenatheist link dump in email if it's the last thing I do!

Beer. Good.

Found an apartment in South Philly near the subway. All I will disclose publicly is that it is between Oregon and Snyder on the east side of Broad. The place is gorgeous but a little pricey. It's way bigger and nicer than what I could find in CC for the same price, but still on the high end of what I wanted to spend on rent.

I'm a little jittery because my move-in date is July 20th! As in, Friday. As in, I gotta get my shit sorted/thrown out/Goodwilled/packed in 4 days! :O

Other things are going as well as can be expected, considering the chaos that is my life. We saw SiCKO today, it was decent but dragged a little bit in spots. For some reason, I thought it was a smart idea to make a dinner out of movie theater popcorn and as I sip more of my beer, I'm thinking that was a decidedly NOT smart move on my part. I'm feeling a little buzzed off most of a canned Yuengling. Weeee.

I'm trying to think of something really nice I could do for my two friends who have graciously let me and New Boyfriend crash in their dining room since the hub-bub of last month. I'm torn between two ideas, but I've gotta think a little bit more about what I want to do and if I just want to trash both ideas and move on to something different.

Gianna's Grille

Hi. Let me take this opportunity to rave about Gianna's.

I know that Gianna's is a thorn in the side of most Philly vegans, but I'm all about giving people another chance. Part of this is due to the fact that I understand how businesses operate. Also, I'd rather give my business to a company that had one major fuckup than a faceless corporate entity whose practices I likely find more deplorable.

Ahem.

Anyway, I finally tried Gianna's for the first time in mid-May and I was hooked. Their pizza is absolutely BANGIN and their sandwiches are also to die for. (Personal favorites are the vegan sausage & spinach pizza and the Freebird Italiano with spinach & vegan cheese. New Boyfriend digs the meatball subs and Sicilian slices.) New Boyfriend and I can split a sandwich, order of cheese fries and a slice of dessert and both feel like we're going to burst. This is no small feat, given that New Boyfriend can literally eat about 4 bowls of linguine with "steak" TVP and two generous slices of Whole Foods marble poundcake before he's full. Hell, he killed 3 bowls of soba noodles and peanut sauce the other night. (Said soba noodles were loaded with broccoli, shelled edamame, peas, carrots AND "chicken" strips. The boy can eat. Heartily.)

Yet, somehow Gianna's fills us both to the max. I have yet to eat anything there that wasn't worth the money, especially when we're talking desserts. Every dessert I've eaten there has been as rich as the average non-vegan cake. DELISH. Yum yum yum. And I like the fact that you can come there with whiny omnivores who can't bear to part with their precious meat or cheese for one damn meal. (It's not like most vegans will accomodate those weiners, right?)

So I loves me some Gianna's. It is yum yum yum. Go eat there and be, like, punk rawk and stuff.

AJDKJRWIOMFKCL(@$*()DIMX(P%IC)@#

Thanks to New Boyfriend, I am in the possession of an autographed ticket stub from Jello Biafra and we managed to exchange several sentences of small talk without me vomiting. Awesome Friday night, e-friends, awesome Friday night.

<3<3<3<3

...

Mentally and physically fatigued.

Mt. Holly has been good for one major thing: giving me distance from my life. I've been able to force myself to sit back and rationally map out some parts of my life.

Of course, this hasn't helped me to accomplish much of anything.

I need to begin forcing myself to wake up at a reasonable (read: EARLY) hour so I can start taking care of things that need to be done around here. I need to also force myself out of being angry or frustrated or resentful with certain people who I know mean well. I'm annoyed with certain things and the fact that certain people have been a little...overall shitty isn't really helping. If this were me at 23, I'd cut these people off with no remorse whatsoever. Of course, part of my mellowing out becoming an old fart means that I'm cutting these people way too much slack.

We might be downright nasty and ruthless with one another around here, but we'd do anything we could to help one another. Whether it means responding to a 4 am text message with "come to my work and I'll give you my house key" or not expecting compensation for kind and loyal deeds or just listening when one of us is bawling hysterically, we're there. I've had a knack at making some of the most loyal friends anyone could have.

Maybe I should stop being so angry and resentful with the liars and the bullshitters and the unreliable asses and be appreciative of the people I do have in my life.

Thank you.

You'll probably never read this.

Now that I've had a week or so to step back and look at things a little differently, I feel badly for you. I re-read your myspace and facebook profiles, and all I can do is hold back from crying, because you and I both know it's all a bunch of bullshit. You can talk all about how you are "compassionate" towards others, yet you have never held any real compassion towards your supposed best friend. You've used the excuses that you're "crazy" and that it's "impossible to maintain friendships" in whatever setting you're in, but you don't seem to fully grasp that something ain't right about your situation.

I know you are truly a good person below all of your issues. And I know it probably scares the living shit out of you that other people might really care or that you might actually be able to do something with your life besides getting drunk out of your mind every time you have a few bucks to spare. I wish you could just see this and realize that you need a lot of help. But to do that, you need to be honest with yourself, with your therapist and with your friends. I know you didn't want me to leave, but you need to understand that I cannot live in fear that you're going to fuck me over. You've pulled shit like this on me before, but never to this extent. I know you are very sick and need treatment right now, but you have to understand that you have put me in a very serious position. Because of your actions, I now might not be able to afford anything for the next few weeks. I have to borrow another student loan before I was ready to do so because you needed money.

And trust me, I don't blame only you. I blame myself for not trying to understand your issues. I blame myself for forking over money because I thought you would do the same if I were in that position. I blame myself for staying with you and throwing your life into more chaos even though you asked me to live there. I blame myself for not leaving at the beginning of the month (when I had planned to do so). I am so angry in part because I feel like I should have known better and everytime SDC reminds me that I should have known better, I get angry with him because he's right. You've put me in a position where the only thing I can do is hate you or else I will want to call or email you to make sure you are okay. The night that everything blew up, I was simultaneously angry and scared to death, but not for the reasons you might think. I knew SDC would let me stay with him, because that's the type of friendship we've always had. I've always known I could count on him when it really mattered. I was scared because I thought you were choking down half a bottle of tranqs. I almost called the cops for a suicide watch on you because I was scared to death that you might try to hurt yourself. And when I lashed out at you the next day, it was because I was so angry that you had worried me for no damn reason at all.

If you didn't want me there, you could have just told me instead of using the one thing you could hold over my head to put me in my place. And I can't totally fault you for not just telling me, because I know you are so sick that you couldn't rationally see that. In your head, there is no grey area, only mania and depression.

As angry and frustrated as I still am with you, I can't help but fight back the urge to call or message you just to make sure you're okay. I almost wish you would contact me with "fuck off" just so I'd know you weren't the best friend I've known and loved for years. Just so I'd know that you are too far gone to talk to me.

You've put me in a strange position, Matt, and I wish you understood how much this bothers me. I can't help you. I fully understand that now, but I want you to get help. I want you to realize that there are at least several people out there who care and who want you to become healthy. And once you strip away all the bullshit and all the past traumas and just the past in general, I hope you can see this. I hope you can realize that you deserve to function like a "normal" person. I wish you the best of luck and I hope we can be close again. I hope to -- as SDC put it -- have you at the kitchen table one day. Unfortunately, I don't see it happening.

Please prove me wrong for once.

...

Since the beginning of April, every place I have lived involves jiggling the key to get in the front door.

There has GOT to be some bizarro symbolism involved in that.

I Got a Crush...on Obama

DEAR GOD.

Pentagon Confirms it Sought to Build a "Gay Bomb"

Original article located here. I found this story courtesy of Pop and Politics.

Pentagon Confirms It Sought To Build A 'Gay Bomb'
Hank Plante

(CBS 5) BERKELEY A Berkeley watchdog organization that tracks military spending said it uncovered a strange U.S. military proposal to create a hormone bomb that could purportedly turn enemy soldiers into homosexuals and make them more interested in sex than fighting.

Pentagon officials on Friday confirmed to CBS 5 that military leaders had considered, and then subsquently rejected, building the so-called "Gay Bomb."

Edward Hammond, of Berkeley's Sunshine Project, had used the Freedom of Information Act to obtain a copy of the proposal from the Air Force's Wright Laboratory in Dayton, Ohio.

As part of a military effort to develop non-lethal weapons, the proposal suggested, "One distasteful but completely non-lethal example would be strong aphrodisiacs, especially if the chemical also caused homosexual behavior."

The documents show the Air Force lab asked for $7.5 million to develop such a chemical weapon.

"The Ohio Air Force lab proposed that a bomb be developed that contained a chemical that would cause enemy soldiers to become gay, and to have their units break down because all their soldiers became irresistably attractive to one another," Hammond said after reviewing the documents.

"The notion was that a chemical that would probably be pleasant in the human body in low quantities could be identified, and by virtue of either breathing or having their skin exposed to this chemical, the notion was that soliders would become gay," explained Hammond.

The Pentagon told CBS 5 that the proposal was made by the Air Force in 1994.

Emphasis mine. Yes, folks, it says 1994.

"The Department of Defense is committed to identifying, researching and developing non-lethal weapons that will support our men and women in uniform," said a DOD spokesperson, who indicated that the "gay bomb" idea was quickly dismissed.

Well, ya know, it's not as if there are actually gays in the military, right? This MUST be the absolute BEST way to "support our men and women in uniform."

Here's a pressing question.. If we develop this technology and use it against our enemies, then won't we have to worry about the enemy coming on to our soldiers? Everyone knows that those silly gays can't keep their hands to themselves! Who knows what the sex-crazed homos will do to upstanding straight members of society! They won't be able to keep from recruiting and then our military will turn into an everlasting Sodomy and Pillow Biting Party!

Clearly, the Pentagon just wasn't thinking about the risks to our soldiers. It's a good thing they didn't go through with this plan. We don't need no bedazzled hot pants wearing army trying to take out them Iranians on a float.

However, Hammond said the government records he obtained suggest the military gave the plan much stronger consideration than it has acknowledged.

"The truth of the matter is it would have never come to my attention if it was dismissed at the time it was proposed," he said. "In fact, the Pentagon has used it repeatedly and subsequently in an effort to promote non-lethal weapons, and in fact they submitted it to the highest scientific review body in the country for them to consider."

Should I laugh or cry at this quote? On one hand, I picture the Air Force dropping hundreds of gallons of Raspberry Stoli and Gautier on the Middle East. On the other hand, I cannot wrap my brain around the idea that someone thought this was actually worth the time and money to seriously study.

Military officials insisted Friday to CBS 5 that they are not currently working on any such idea and that the past plan was abandoned.

Gay community leaders in California said Friday that they found the notion of a "gay bomb" both offensive and almost laughable at the same time.

I'm with them.

"Throughout history we have had so many brave men and women who are gay and lesbian serving the military with distinction," said Geoff Kors of Equality California. "So, it's just offensive that they think by turning people gay that the other military would be incapable of doing their job. And its absurd because there's so much medical data that shows that sexual orientation is immutable and cannot be changed."

This is one of those articles that I fail at most snide commentary. On what planet is this considered logical, acceptable or appropriate?

What scares me the most about this article is that you would think we - as a supposed "world leader" - would have our country's best scientists working with the government to develop technology to best protect our interests, security, etc. Yet this is one of the most jackassed ideas I have heard come from our government. Even more scary is that it occurred during the CLINTON administration, not Bush I, not Reagan. This was entertained during one of - in many people's minds - the most liberal administrations and liberal climates the United States has seen in recent times.

Mull that over for a little bit.

As ironic as Alanis.

Within 48 (?) hours of my last post, "Best Friend" had a mini-breakdown and decided to throw us (New Boyfriend and me) out of the apartment. This, of course, is after two months of bleeding my checking account dry. This, of course, is also after several apartment hunting trips in which the three of us (and in a couple cases, several other people) were looking for an apartment to split.

Why did he do it? We're not totally certain. New Boyfriend and I have a few theories on why he did it, but nothing is confirmed. SDC came with us when we moved everything out and wanted "Best Friend" and I to have a talk afterwards. That, my friends, was a complete mess.

For the time being, we are living at SDC's place. Internet functions pretty well there, but cell phone signals are terrible. We are also far away from everything. We're looking for a slightly more permanent option, but it is difficult given that most of our friends' leases are up pretty soon and it's not exactly easy to call anyone (considering the whole "issues with cell phone use" thing).

This is a very strange time in my life. As I have said on Facebook, I'm convinced my life operates on five year cycles and I could easily find the parallels if you gave me a few days/a week. I'm just a little too old for this shit, you know?

Money

I really have to start making some money. So far, we've contemplated starting our own internet porn business, work at home scams, collecting for "charity," and opening a boarding home in the remaining 200 square feet that aren't currently being used.

Unfortunately, none of these options are desirable or terribly realistic.

In a moment of desparation, I signed up for a bunch of paid survey/paid email reading websites. Somehow, I imagine that I will get quite aggravated with them in the next week, but considering that I called my mother earlier today to see if I could sort/list her "stuff to be eBayed" pile, I think I'm hitting rock bottom with money. Luckily, I have $110 from a failed apartment deposit, as well as a $20 check that Matt signed over to me; at least that $130 can keep the "OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT" panicking down a little bit. I also have textbooks, some duplicate White Wolf books and CDs to sell, so hopefully I can get rid of those things for not *too* little. The White Wolf books should all go for a fairly high amount, considering they are out of print and many are brand new. Hopefully, I won't have to touch the emergency $80 sitting in my ING account, but I might have to do so to pay some bills.

Aside from that, I'm contemplating things like trolling Goodwill for nicer vintage clothes that could be eBayed, and if I get too desparate, I'm going to start taking some loads of things to Buffalo Clothing Exchange.

On a good note, we've found a handful of studies through the Psychology Department at Temple. I found one that pays you and two friends $50 a piece for a "decision making study." But, as luck would have it, all three people must be of the same gender, and I don't have two female friends who would be available all at once for the study.

Damnit damnit damnit. However, I did manage to find two studies paying $15 a piece and we have plenty of subway tokens. (Thank you, New Boyfriend's irresponsible ex-roommate!)

At least my credit card bills are all current until July. I just have to figure out how to make the little bit of money I have last me until the very beginning of July. Oh yeah, and find somewhere to live for the first two weeks. SDC offered me a temporary place, but he's just outside of Trenton, and my entire life is based out of Philly right now. I would do it if I had to, but the thought of two hour bus rides just to see the new boyfriend and hang out with Matt and even go to a crappy job down here is simply not desirable.

I'll figure out the living arrangement thing later. One step at a time, one step at a time.

Life and whatnot

Boyfriend and I split up.
Currently living with Best Friend in the Gayborhood.
Fabulous things are happening for me.

Blog for choice

Why am I pro-choice?

Because I'm a woman. Because the government should have no say in what happens in my body. Because I'm a feminist. Because men cannot carry a pregnancy to term. Because white women still make an average of $.75 to a white man's dollar. Because pay disparities become even more abysmal when you take race into consideration. Because I never want us to return to the days of dangerous "back alley" abortions. Because, again, "back alley" abortions became even more dangerous when considering race and class. Because Gerri Santoro should not have died. Because Becky Bell should not have died. Because none of these women, or countless others, should have died, only to have their deaths mocked by oh so compassionate "feminists" for life. Because I realize that there are many factors that go into the decision to continue a pregnancy. Because an abortion can be the most difficult decision a woman makes or easiest. Because even if I disagree with a woman's reason for aborting, I do not want laws based on my morality, values or preferences. Because historically, certain women's reproductive choices have have been ripped from them because they were "unfit" for parenting. Because many of these same women are still manipulated into having their reproductive rights stolen from them. Because raging hardons are considered more important than 100% effective birth control. Because the government thinks it's okie dokie to prevent me from getting a script filled if my pharmacist deems it "morally unacceptable."

Because not being pro-choice makes absolutely no sense to me.

Consumerism

Things I want to order:

To-Go 2-tier stainless steel lunchbox
Bento sleeve w/ice pack, Vegan Lunchbox & some more utensils
Vegan Cupcakes Take Over the World...if I can find it anywhere. *e-tear*
Tons and tons of healthy snacks from Pangea
THE BEST SOCKS IN ALL OF AMERICA!!!

Ugh. Why do I have a feeling that my financial aid refund is practically spent already? I still have to get about half of my textbooks and I've spent a few hundred on them already!

Last night, Best Friend and I went to Horizons for delicious, delicious food. Since I was in a drunken haze the last time I was there (in July), I completely forgot that I had tried the Portabello Carpaccio when I went for anniversary dinner with Boyfriend. So I was all "YEAH I'M TRYIN' SOMETHIN NEW!!!!!!!" When in reality, I was trying the same damn thing. :( But then the bartender brought us the dessert menu and I was able to try a completely new dish! Saffron Creme Brulee. *dies* Creme Brulee was one of those "hoity toity totally bougee decadent, heart attack in a ramekin dishes that is way easier and cheaper to make than you might think" that I never tried pre-veganism. According to Best Friend, it tasted pretty close to the traditional dairy/eggified version, which he doesn't care for. Considering that he snuck five spoonfuls of it, I think he may have enjoyed the vegan version better than the dairy-mania. :) It was so good and I'm happy I don't live closer to them, or else I'd be spending all my freakin' money on food and cocktails.

All this thinking about the deliciousness that is Horizons is making me way more hungry than I should be at 4:15 am. *grumble* Maybe I should force myself into bed so I don't inhale everything in my kitchen!

CounterCrisisNW needs funds!

The following is the message posted on Livejournal. (This is why my last post turned into a total rushjob!) I can vouch for CounterCrisis.

Pro-choicers, please crosspost this and spread it around everywhere you can! Thank you!

Edit: Teehee. While reading my Livejournal feed, I just realized how appropriate it is to follow up a plea to middle class liberals with this post. EL OH EL.

---

Hi, all. It's that time again - we at CounterCrisisNorthwest have just recieved a phone call from Lovejoy Surgical Center in Portland requesting funds for a 17 year old girl from California who is 20 weeks pregnant and is pregnant as a result of a rape.

Although our holiday fundraising was successful, we've still been having money go out to the abortion centers almost as fast as it's coming in. The young woman in this case is about $425 short of the needed funds for her abortion and we only have just over $100 in the fund. If any of you can help out in any amount, it would be incredibly appreciated both by the fund and by this young woman.

Do you have someone with a birthday or a holiday need soon? You can also buy gift donations in the name of another person and we will e-mail you the personalized and printable PDF Gift Certificate.

A call to middle-class liberals

You say you're anti-war, pro-equal marriage rights, pro-choice, etc., etc., etc. So stop crying e-poverty* and stop insisting that it "doesn't matter" what you do, that assholes will still get elected. "Liberals" across the US have been claiming rainbows and puppy dogs and fluffy bunnies ever since the Democrats OMG SWEEPED TEH MIDTERMS! You know how it was done? Because volunteers and interns worked their asses off knocking doors and leafletting all over the place. Because people like you ponied up $25 now and again to contribute to their campaigns. Because people started to realize "HOT DAMN I CAN MAKE SOME SORT OF DIFFERENCE!"

So put your money where your mouth is.

If you're a liberal, you should be working your ass off to get Kucinich on the Presidential ticket. Do you really think that Obama, Clinton or Edwards will fully support your views in office? Bwahahahaha.

Here's the problem: the country has shifted so far to the right that anyone left of center is thought to be "liberal," when they are in fact almost as bad as the right. US citizens have heard over and over again that the 2006 midterms showed that OMG TEH COUNTRY IS SOOOO RIGHT WING CAUSE WE HAVE SO MANY CONSERVATIVE DEMS IN OFFICE. And most "liberals" argued their little brains out that this was soooooo not true.

Wasn't it? As I said above, the country has shifted pretty far right in the past 8ish years or so. It's shifted so far that not only are the right-wingers insisting that Congress is full of "San Francisco values" (lololol), but most "liberals" think they are so progressive and omgleftwing, despite the fact they think Clinton is a wonderful choice for president or that Pelosi as Speaker is some huge step for progressive values. Um. YEAH.

I understand that, right now, a white woman or a person of color will have to be fairly conservative to be elected president. And while I do feel that it's about damn time that we have a president who isn't an old white dude, I'm not going to get googly eyed over the prospect of a just-left-of-center minority in office. That is not a victory for me. It certainly isn't a victory when I'm worried about my civil liberties, specifically in respect to my non-belief. Considering that I've read some pretty fucking troubling quotes from Barack Obama regarding atheism, I cannot treat him like an actual liberal.

Real phone call about a half hour ago

[ring ring]
Me [grumbling]: Hello?
Dipshit on other end of the phone: Julie? Is Julie there?
Me: You have the wrong number.
Dipshit: No I don't.
Me: Yes you do.
Dipshit: Ohhhhhh.
Me: [click]

Um. Yeah. I've had this number for almost 3 years. I can assure you that we have not been hiding Julie here for three years.

Five minutes later.
[ring ring]
Me [this better not be the same damn..WHAT THE HELL?]: You still have the wrong number. Goodbye.

Then I try to leave the phone off the hook because Boyfriend tried to go to bed a little before ten and the dipshit wouldn't get the fuck off the line. Everytime I pick up just to take the damn phone off the hook, dingbat keeps babbling about me daring to get a little brusque with her. Um, no. You're calling my house after 10 and you friggin argue with me when I tell you "wrong number." Somehow, I'm thinking that your stupid ass shouldn't expect me to be super polite under these circumstances. Oy.

So how is 2007 treating you, internet?