So, I've been playing a lot of Resident Evil lately on my Wii. This probably isn't the smartest idea in the world, considering that my best video game hours begin around 2 am and I live by myself. I also have an incredibly paranoid mother who is convinced I am going to get hacked to bits and pieces one night in my apartment. She's not good on the idea that I live in a very safe part of the city.
This, in turn, causes me to be a stubborn fuck and insist that my apartment is totally safe, that living on my own is totally safe and nothing could ever possibly happen to me while living in a major city that has an incredibly high murder rate.
So then I play video games for several hours, resulting in my inability to sleep until about 6:30 am. It's not because I'm wound up. It's because I start thinking things along the lines of "what if zombies were real? Oh shit, I'd be so screwed if zombies were real." Which leads to me getting a little too edgy to go to sleep right away, hence my being awake at 6:38 am on a Sunday. Then I inevitably hear the buzzer for one of my neighbors (why he has people buzzing for him at 5:30 am every. freakin. morning, I'll never know), putting me a little more on edge. Because I guess I wonder if zombies would try to psych me out.
It's not that I really fear a zombie invasion, it's just that I have an overactive imagination. And once the hamster starts running, it's all over.
Other truths I hold dear to my heart:
* The Septa Forcefield. The Septa Forcefield only exists at the Subway/El/any train station with a turnstile. It doesn't matter what type of psychotic killer is behind you, as long as you pay your fare and get through the turnstile, zie can't come and get you. This will also keep me safe from zombie invasion, provided that I'm in a subway station at the time. Unless zombies know how to buy tokens. SHIT.
* Moose evolution. Moose will one day evolve and develop opposable thumbs. With their opposable thumb technology, they will then be able to scale walls and hide out in trees with sniper rifles. I just hope that we will be able to channel their newly developed intellect and direct it against the impending zombie invasion.
You might mock me, but you will fucking see when it happens to you. Just remember to keep plenty of tokens on you for emergencies and hope the moose don't decide to take you out instead of the zombies. OH YEAH AND THANK ME WHEN YOU'RE IN THESE SITUATIONS.
