So, like, today I fainted for the first time ever! It was so crazy and I actually wound up having to google fainting because I didn't know if I fainted or what.
So I've been referring to this as "my brain tumor," because I love making light of any major shit like that. Hey, I'm the same person who -- while under the influence of morphine in the ER -- rambled "YAAAAAY I don't have the GRID!" I'm also a ton of fun in the ER on a whole, but that's another story. Really, I think I should start charging for being an ER escort because I am awesome in the ER.
But this isn't the point. The point is that I was totally convinced I had a brain tumor earlier today.
After the humor of waking up to Criminal Justice Major* saying "she's got a pulse" and responding with a slurry, just regained conscience "Iiiii'mmmm...shalive," I was a little freaked out about this incident. I do not need to have moments of being overcome with my womanly issues unless I'm corsetting my waist down to some Dita Von Teese shit. Once I got home, I looked up Vitamin B-12 deficiencies and found some very interesting stuff. Symptoms of said deficiency (taken from a wide variety of sources):
* Unexplained bruises
* Fatigue
* Inability to concentrate
* Depression
* Low-grade fever
* Intestinal issues
* Pale skin
* Loss of memory
* Chest pains
* Low blood pressure**
* Light headedness, sensations of dizziness
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH. I've had all this shit pop up multiple times over the summer to varying degrees. Conveniently, this began just a few months after I moved out of Ex-Boyfriend's house....which is also the last time I was eating ANYTHING that resembled NUTRITIOUS MEALS. The psychological issues are particularly surprising to me, because I had a really difficult time dealing with all the stress of the summer. And I felt like I was losing my fucking mind because my memory was really slipping over the summer. To find out that this shit might be remedied by just taking my damn vitamins is such a relief, but it's a little sad that I will not be able to say "EXCUSE ME, BRAIN TUMOR COMING THROUGH." "EXCUSE ME, ANEMIA CAUSED BY A B-12 DEFICIENCY COMING THROUGH" does not have the same ring to it. I guess the fact that I probably don't have a brain tumor is supposed to make up for that, but whatever.
I suppose I will have to just be inconvenienced and modify my new catchphrase.
* Pseudonym in the interest of protecting privacy on this little-read, very public blog.
** I have never been diagnosed, but despite being a heavy smoker, a lot of bad dietary choices (yep, it's completely possible even as a vegan!), binge drinking, over-stressing myself, etc., etc., etc., I have NEVER had high blood pressure. Even at my highest weight and during my absolute worst lifestyle choices, I have oddly had normal blood pressure, which leads me to wonder if my blood pressure would be low if I lived the healthiest lifestyle I possibly could.
